Do you consider yourself an optimist?
I believe different people baseline at different levels of buoyancy, happiness and optimism. But, even if you aren’t naturally optimistic, there are things that you can do to infuse more of this hopeful attitude into your life. And if you are already an optimist, there are things you can do to lean into it even more.
But how is optimism different than magical thinking? How is believing it will all work out in the end not a “magical” belief?
I’m delighted you asked. Let me tell you.
Magical thinking is convincing yourself of something that can't actually happen – a narrative you create based on false beliefs held or wishes made that ignore evidence to the contrary. They may rely on a magical belief that something will just happen without recognizing the steps necessary to get there.
This is the fairytale belief that somehow you will be rescued from your current situation, no work required. Just “poof,” and life will be different.
That said, optimism is by definition is simply a hopeful and positive attitude towards the future ... the foundational belief that good things can and will happen. It doesn’t ignore reality, it doesn’t negate the need for hard work. It is simply a feeling that while there may be challenges and obstacles, we can and will overcome them. And I encourage you to be relentless in your optimism. Yes, we will face hardship, but we are also capable of overcoming it, and good things await us on the other side.
I have given up magical thinking and the disappointment it breeds. But I am firmly a relentless optimist, and that makes all the difference. I’m not perfect, and I have bad days and down days like everyone else. But I hold onto – and always come back to – hope, to the belief that things will work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
One key to relentless optimism is to focus on the things that you can control, rather than dwelling on the things that you can't. This also helps us feel powerful instead of powerless. You can’t control someone else’s actions, for instance, but you can control your own reactions. (Easier said than done, but so impactful when you can.)
While gratitude is often spoken about, it is an important tenet of optimism. It can help to focus on what we have instead of on what we lack. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t want and work for more. I am grateful for my career, but I also have dreams of a different future and other ventures. Gratitude doesn’t negate a desire to make changes.
Further, as you work to create or enhance optimism, make a point to spend time with those people who inspire you and lift you up. Optimism is contagious and it grows exponentially when shared.
And finally, it’s important to be resilient. To be able to keep going despite setbacks; to learn from mistakes and keep moving forward in the face of adversity. Resiliency is like a muscle – you strengthen it the more you work it.
When I’m low or struggling, I go back to a few touchpoints and habits that help me regain and maintain a positive outlook. I read mantras and listen to music that remind me that I am unstoppable. I try to remember that everything is temporary, and things will get better, especially if I actively work to make it so.
While I have given up magical thinking, I am a firm believer in karma, luck and pixie dust. I am also a devout believer in hard work … and it’s amazing sometimes how the harder you work, the luckier you become.